Trust Issues? How to find a therapist if you have them
HI everyone Dr. Liz here!
This is part of my therapist little mini-series that I’m doing here and it’s about how to find the therapist if you have trust issues going on.
So, often people with trust issues don’t even end up in therapy because the trust issue prevents them from doing that. Other people recognize like “I have some trust issues” and this is something I want to work on and I want to help it get better, or perhaps it’s someone who is not trusting a spouse but doesn’t have a whole lot of reason not to trust a spouse and that type of case then often we’ll go back and work on that healing some childhood wounds or something like that.
Sometimes they’re very aware where these trust issues came from, other times they’re not.
So what I would say to you in terms of looking for a therapist is: it’s going to take a little bit longer for you to open up and trust someone, so allow that in the therapy process but you should feel comfortable, a certain element of comfort even on the phone with them or even in those first couple of sessions.
It’s not that therapy is easy for you, I think it is harder for people with trust issues often but you feel like a therapist is on your side, that they are really helping you feel comfortable, helping you talk about whatever you need to talk about, helping you look at the trust issues and seeing where is a safe space.
I’m gonna talk a little bit about trust here.
Trust is a continuum. Sometimes people think it’s an “either-or”. Either I trust or I don’t.
No. Trust is built over time with feelings and connections and actions to back all that stuff up: It’s not an either-or. I mean, sometimes people break trust and you’re like “Oh, I can’t trust them”, very obviously here right and it’s like either you cut them out of your life at that point or you start to rebuild trust but it’s “Oh all of a sudden, I decide to trust them one day”.
No, it’s a gradual process. It’s like happens over time. So, same with therapy like that trust happens over time.
It’s a very rare person who comes into my office, sits down the first session, pours their heart out and you know all of that like immediately trust me, because, we’re human beings. It takes time to get to know somebody. It takes time to feel like you can trust them with the vulnerable stuff.
The therapist is working to help you feel comfortable. So if you feel like the therapist isn’t working to help you feel comfortable you know maybe move on to a different one.
But If you can see that the therapist is really helping you feel comfortable, even though they challenge you on some things, they’re also saying things like:
- “Hey it’s okay to talk about anything you want to talk about here”
- “There’s no judgment here”
- “Take the guilt off of that, let’s just be curious so we can look at that”
They are asking you good questions. Good probing questions about what’s going on, either in the body and the present or about your past or something that’s happened to you in the present even but they’re asking you good questions and you feel like their attention is fully on you.
Those are all good signs of a good therapist and those help build trust over time.
I hope that helps someone with trust issues understand therapy a little bit better and perhaps how it could help you.
I said often in my office, we’re doing talk therapy but often when you’re talking about deeper trust issues it often goes back so we do some hypnosis to heal that as well.
If you want to see more about me you can do that over at my website and you can also get some free hypnosis files including one to decrease fear and anxiety. Fear and anxiety often go along with people who have trust issues because they don’t trust, so a lot of fear and anxiety comes up.
So go get that free hypnosis file and get started working on it on a different level.
Before you go, remember to get your Free Hypnosis to reduce Fear and Anxiety!
I work with people all over the world. If you want to feel better and have a transformed life, grab your Free Consultation with me to get the deets on working together (the how, the when, the where, and the how much)!
Peace and Health,