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How to Spot a Lie in your Relationship

How to Spot a Lie in your Relationship After my divorce, I was fascinated with how to tell if someone I was dating was lying. I read books. I watched videos. I looked at systems that police departments and interrogators used. I practiced "baselining" someone and then watching their facial expressions closely. The South Florida dating world gave me plenty of opportunity [...]

By |2020-06-18T15:44:46-04:00July 14th, 2020|Anxiety, BPD, Couples Counseling|Comments Off on How to Spot a Lie in your Relationship
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When NOT to Tell the Truth

When NOT to Tell the Truth We've talked about Why People Lie, and 9 Steps to Telling the Truth. Now let's talk bout if there's any time that it's ok to lie. Up front, let me say thatthis depends on YOU most of all - your values and your own personal integrity. For some people, [...]

By |2020-06-17T20:08:11-04:00July 7th, 2020|BPD, Couples Counseling|Comments Off on When NOT to Tell the Truth
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Telling the Truth – 9 Steps

9 Steps to Telling the Truth To continue with our Couples Series, this week we're talking about how to be more honest in your relationship. If you missed last week's, you can read Why People Lie in Relationships. Most people struggle with telling the truth from time to time. But when someone starts telling bigger lies or [...]

By |2020-06-17T19:52:58-04:00June 30th, 2020|Anxiety, BPD, Couples Counseling|Comments Off on Telling the Truth – 9 Steps
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Why people Lie in Relationships

Why people Lie in Relationships This a BIG question, but there are answers. In fact, there are whole books written about this topic. Most of them center on affairs, but one I read recently talked about both affairs and lying in general. It's called, "Tell me No Lies" by Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson. They [...]

By |2020-07-06T13:48:16-04:00June 26th, 2020|Anxiety, BPD, Couples Counseling|Comments Off on Why people Lie in Relationships
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  • Do you ever ask yourself that question? And not so politely? I know I'm just going along and some weeks are better than others for me.My To do list a couple of weeks ago was labeled, "Get it Together" week. That's because I felt like I didn't accomplish much the previous week! I love being IN my office and helping people (whether that's virtually or in-person). But I also have several projects that I'm working on, hoping to launch an online group about Hypnosis and Insomnia this year. One technique that I learned years ago from my own therapist and that I use in my own practice is called "Focusing or Felt Sense." Once my therapist told me about it, I tracked down a well-worn copy of the book written by Eugene Gendlin. It was out of print when I was looking for it, but it's now only about $5 on amazon. Jeff Warren (who I'm a big fan of) explains . . . "The “felt sense” was coined in the 70s by a brilliant University of Chicago philosopher and researcher named Eugene Gendlin. At the time, Gendlin was interested in the question of what makes psychotherapy successful. Did it have to do with the modality of therapy, or with the therapist? In his research, he discovered it was neither. Those who got the most out of therapy seemed to all do something similar: directed by their therapist, they were able to get a clear nonverbal sense of their body’s experience in the moment, a subtle stream of intuitions and sensations which Gendlin called “the felt sense.” This became the basis of his own influential style of therapy, known as 'Focusing.'" You don't have to read the book, because I'm about to give you a tip from it to figure out what's going on with you. This is in brief. 1. Of course we start with sitting still for a moment, but don't worry . . . you don't have to meditate! 2. Choose ONE personal problem to focus on. ("personal" can mean anything - for me it was a "business" problem). 3. Pay attention to where you feel this problem in your body and what it feels like. 4. Let a Word, Phrase, or Image come up and just acknowledge it, whatever it is. (For me, it was a picture of me with my hair wild, un-bathed, a sense of what I felt like when I was a new mom and overwhelmed.) 5. Ask yourself what is it about this problem that creates this "felt sense" and image. You may get a sense of a shift that happens here or some understanding about why you're feeling this problem this way in your body. (Mine was the familiar feeling that I didn't know what I was doing when I was trying to do something I had never done before!) 6. Stay friendly to the message you're getting from yourself and sense any kind of shift that arises. Solutions may appear in this step too. Be open to what comes up. If you would like to learn more about Focusing, check out the International Focusing Institute's website. If you decide you need help with emotional healing, schedule your Free Consultation with me to get the deets on working together (the how, the when, the where, and the how much)!

WHAT is going on??? And How to figure it out!

WHAT is going on??? And How to figure it out! Do you ever ask yourself that question? And not so politely? I know I'm just going along and some weeks are better than others for me.My To do list a couple of weeks ago was labeled, "Get it Together" week. That's because I felt like I [...]

By |2020-03-01T19:09:09-05:00March 1st, 2020|Anxiety, BPD, Entrepreneurs, Mindfulness|Comments Off on WHAT is going on??? And How to figure it out!
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