Decrease Anger at Kids in the Morning with this one simple thing

Are you constantly angry at your kids in the morning while you try to get them out the door? Try this one simple thing to decrease anger and have a happier morning for everyone!

Transcript

Today I’m going to talk about how not to get angry at your kids in the morning.

This is a problem all over the country, all over the world actually. (I hear from moms in other countries too.)

You have a child that won’t get out of bed and they delay. Now, this is my 11-year-old. She will not get out of bed. I swear, I think she has her father’s genes right (but she does have her father’s genes) but you know what I mean.

It is so hard for her and we have tried all kinds of stuff. We’ve tried the reward charts and that’s effective for a little while and then it sort of peters out. We tried all these different things and for months I was really angry at her in the morning. Angry angry angry! I’d start out happy and then the longer she would delay, the angrier I would get, and then by the time you leave, you are just completely off the scale.

So anger is a message to us that something needs to change and often as parents we think it’s the child that needs to change thinking “If she would just get out of bed, I wouldn’t be angry anymore! She needs to change not me.” but one day it hit me that this anger wasn’t effective. It wasn’t motivating her, it didn’t feel good to me. Nothing was happening here. So perhaps I’m the one who needed to change? So I just decided, I’m just going to be happy in the morning.

That’s it. I’m just gonna be happy. I’m tired of being angry in the morning…. and so I did! So the first morning: Day 1, I was happy and she still got in the car at the last minute. They too are as happy. She still got in the car at the last minute. She grabbed her shoes, she grabs her breakfast, and forgets the backpack (I’ve already loaded the car with the backpack because I know when she’s trying to do all that, she was gonna spill the breakfast and then a disaster).

So Day 3, my teen who is 15, turns to me and says “Why aren’t you angry at her?” and I was like, “Why would I be angry at her? The kid doesn’t make a difference here and I prefer to be happy in the morning and then she’s happy too and you can also be happy in the morning! You don’t have to be angry at her either. It doesn’t make any kind of difference. After that, that’s what we decided to do.

All it was, was a decision. That’s it, we just decided to be happy in the morning.

She still gets in the car at the last minute but it doesn’t really matter to me. So what? She finally gets in the car, that’s it. And we go about our day and we’re all happy. We start the morning off that way.

So this is what I suggest to you today. Try the chart try everything you want to try but if it starts the peter out and lose effectiveness, try just being happy!

Alright, that’s it!

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Peace and Health,
Dr. Liz