Narcissistic Mothers / Parents Video Series

Did you know that I have a whole Video series on YouTube about Narcissistic Mothers? The video above is just one of 12 videos on the playlist that cover:

  • 2 main types of NPD Moms
  • 6 subtypes of NPD Moms
  • What happens in the adult child when a NPD parent dies
  • The difference between a Healthy family and a family with a Narcissistic Parent

*Information from “Will I Ever be Good Enough: Healing the daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” by Karyl McBride.

Before I go this week, if you need some help with your own NPD parent, grab your Free Consultation with me to get the deets on working together (the how, the when, the where, and the how much)!
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Yours in health,
Dr. Liz

Video Trascript

I’m dr. liz here and I’m doing a series on narcissistic mothers so this comes

from the book will I ever be good enough healing the daughters and narcissistic mothers by Karyll McBride wonderful book
highly recommend it okay I am a specialist in this area you can see more
about me over at dr. Liz and I truly love helping adult children
work through this because it’s confusing it’s an area that a lot of therapists
are not knowledgeable about they were talking about subtle patterns that
happen over time and sometimes people will walk in and if they have a
therapist who doesn’t really know about this area they’ll feel validated or like
they’re exaggerating or something like that or sometimes friends will give them
that feedback if they’re not knowledgeable in this area either but I
think that it’s an area that deserves attention

that there’s healing that has
to happen that so that a grown-up person grown-up daughter of a narcissistic
mother or grown-up son of a narcissistic parent can feel good about themselves
feel worthy feel like their life is worth living and has meaning and also
learn how to navigate their relationship with the parent so it’s not always about
cut off which is an option for some people but sometimes it’s about okay how
do I handle them how do I what kind of relationship do I wouldn’t have with
them how much contact do I want to have it and

these are all good questions to
ask if you have a narcissistic parent so anyway let’s jump into this type okay
this one is the emotionally needy narcissistic mother oh my that’s what
you always hear from the emotionally needy narcissistic mother like their
needs come first it is like the child’s needs are non-existent okay the child does not get emotional
support does not get support and pretty much anything it’s all about the mother
and what the mother needs and this is the mother that calls 20 times a day and
accuses you of not loving her if you don’t pick up one time okay
this is about the mother who liked to often overlap with a psychosomatic mom
did a video about that type where it’s like oh she’s sick all the time because
that neediness gets her something okay the dependence it’s her something
she will trump all over her child’s feelings

okay the child is not really a factor in her mind hers are her feelings are
what’s most important and the child pretty much gets trained around this and
then grows up and often these daughters will meet very emotionally needy
partners as they get older in that because that feels normal to them that
feels comfortable to them that’s like well what they grew up with but they
they’re left feeling like they don’t matter anymore like only their partner
matters because only their mother mattered so they get a sense often that

something’s off here that something feels wrong here like whenever we’re

talking about something it suddenly becomes about my partner or about my mother not about like what I was going
through and what I needed or what I do need at the time so they learn that
neglect is normal emotional neglect is normal and it’s not here to tell you
it’s not like you do deserve attention you do deserve to be listened to and
cared for and loved and supported but chances are you didn’t learn that
growing up with a narcissistic mother who was the emotionally needy type okay
let me check if there’s anything else I can give you here

let’s see you often learn not to even discuss your feelings so often daughters

and our cystic mother’s or Father’s are incredibly independent that’s how they

look on the outside because they have learned it never to ask for help because

it’s not coming okay their mothers are not going to give them help so they

often learn not to even talk about their feelings I know at some point I had

taught myself not to cry okay I had to relearn to cry in my 30s or so I just

decided at one point my twenties like I’m gonna build a wall I’m not gonna cry

I’m because it doesn’t matter anyway nobody really cares I did have a

narcissistic mother myself obviously so it’s like that type of behavior that you

learn of shutting down your own feelings and it’s not good for you doesn’t help

you connect doesn’t help you connect with your own children once your own

children come along so often that’s a point of time when these issues will

come up for daughters is when they have their own kids and they’re like well

what do I do now you know I certainly have that feeling of how do I mother this child and what
is normal and was it what feels good to me and you have to get in touch with all
of that and not even sometimes we’ll go to the extreme like were you gonna be so
much better than our neglectful mom let’s say often does someone had a
really neglectful mom or dad that’s what they do they go to the extreme of I’m
gonna pay attention to every single one of these child’s needs like nothing is
gonna escape my notice and that’s an extreme in itself which again it’s about
finding balance okay about finding what you need in the middle even when you
don’t have children okay in relationships it’s about finding balance

between what I need what my partner needs hey and sometimes I need more
private space sometimes I need more connection and it’s really melding those
two sometimes these daughters will end up in as a fair partner okay because
they’re used to getting little bits right little bits of bread along the way
not a whole loaf of bread because you know they didn’t get that when they grew
up they got the leftovers let’s say mom cooked dinner for herself not
but mom cook dinner for herself and the trial got the leftovers so they’re used
to having the leftovers of a relationship they’ll get into affairs

with people who are married because they’re used to getting just a tiny
little bit right that feels normal to them when really it’s not and sometimes
that does become a crisis for them because they’re like wait a minute I
deserve a whole and complete relationship and whole and complete
attention and love and caring and all of that so it is a area to heal if that’s
your pattern married men or married women or married non-binary people
that’s your pattern then it’s something to look at particularly if you know that
you had a narcissistic parent it can be healed hey it can be healed with a
deeper hypnosis it can be healed with some talk therapy it can be navigated so
I want you to know that okay you’re not doomed right none of these videos I want
you to feel doomed there’s always help that you can get and I absolutely love
this area so if you want to know more about me
again you can go see and I’ll talk to you soon.