How to be a Better Mom if you have an NPD Mom

Transcript:

If you have a narcissistic parent, particularly a mother, this video is for you. 

When you have your own kids and you become a mother yourself, then it’s important to find someone who you can really emulate as a mother because you didn’t have that mothering yourself.

You didn’t have someone who paid attention to your needs, who cared for you who knew what to do when maybe you were having a stressful day or a meltdown or something like this. I had a narcissistic mom myself and I specialize in this area as a therapist. I realized when my kids were little I would look at other moms that I thought were good. 

So, there’s a mom around the corner whose daughter was about the same age as mine and when her daughter was having a really bad day, she’d wrap her hair up in a towel and run her a bath with a really good-smelling bubble bath. There are scents in it and it would help her calm down and so I took that. It was like. “Oh, that’s what you do when they’re having a stressful day. Okay, Great!” and I would do that.

I had another mom whom I just thought was an amazing mom, she’s actually about 10 years younger than me but we had kids around the same age and I would hear her voice in my head. I would say to myself. “Okay, what would Crystal do or say at this moment?” and that would help me mother my own children at that moment.

I think she would do this sometimes I’d even check it out with her but usually, it was like happening right there and you know how fast little kids move and all that and I had to come up with something really fast so I’d say “Okay what would Crystal do and at that moment, that would give me some insight and wisdom in how to be a better mother.

All right I hope this helps anyone with a narcissistic mother be a better mother themselves. 

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