5 MORE Manipulations of Narcissists with Dr Liz
Transcript
Hey everyone Dr Liz here. Today I’m going to do five more tools of my emotional manipulators. Often these are narcissists okay very often they’re narcissists but even if they’re not these are the tools that they use. So I did five tools before these are five more.
One – They create well-developed facades to hide behind sometimes false friendships false mentors false Advocates sometimes false Partners. If you’re the partner of one and they’ll create like false friends. There’s a very famous Tik Tok where she did this whole series about this completely false life that her partner created. This is what I’m talking about but sometimes it happens on like a lower level where where they’re just straight up lie about who the person is or that they’re in their life or anything like that.
The Tik Tock that I’m talking about the guy would spend hours on the phone and later it came out he was talking to like nobody. She thought he was talking to his brother or something. He was talking to nobody. He’s having like fake conversations on the phone classic very classic.
I dated a guy who was a Military Pretender. He was a complete like psychopath like narcissist and psychopath but far into the psychopath category. Hey come see me if you’ve dated or if you continue to date Psychopaths. We can work on that all right. It’s called core healing hypnosis and we knock out some deep beliefs that are going on for you.
But anyway um he pretended to be in the military. We’re talking like 20 years he had pretended to be in the military. The very good friend who had said oh yeah he’s a great guy thought he had been in the military. It was um me who discovered he was never in the military. Never. That’s an emotional manipulator. If you discover one of those um he had you know said other things like he owned a house and by the beach. It turned out to be his parents house. Like weird stuff that they do. Weird stuff where you’re shaken when you discover it, very shaken. I know I was. I was like this guy will never step foot in my house again. Very shaken.
Number two – Irritability
If you don’t want the wrath of my irritability make sure I get what I want. So they will be very irritable to make sure that you give them what they want. I think I covered that one in the first video but anyway if you haven’t seen it um that’s what happens. If they’re not getting what they want then they’ll sort of pout or like put on a bad attitude until they get what they want. This shows up sometimes when like they’ll only go to dinner somewhere they want to go to dinner no matter if they say to you, “Where do you want to go to dinner?” If it’s not the place that they really want to go, then they’ll agree to go but they’ll be like a little irritable and pouty about it and make it unpleasant for you.
So you learn pretty quickly not to do that, to just be like we’ll go wherever they want to go. Or if you want more of a backbone or to stand up for yourself you say to them, “Well I want to go here for dinner but if you’re going to be a jerk about it then we’re just not going to go to dinner at all.” Like no you have to have a good attitude and sometimes that’s enough to shift them and they’ll say Okay. Sometimes not.
Three – Triangulation.
They use other people to increase the pressure on you. So they’ll draw someone else in that a friend a parent sometimes a sibling that will say oh no so you know your partner’s right. Like you got to do what they want you to do. um of course like you know look how wonderful he is or she is or they are look how wonderful they are um that’s really where you should be putting your trust okay. So they’ll use a third person.
Number four – They will pretend to be ill.
Some emotional manipulators are pretend hypochondriacs. They use like fake illness to keep people tied into their manipulative games. They really are trying tapping into people’s good nature kindheartedness compassion. They often partner with really good people and they look for that, like someone who’s very kind-hearted so that they can manipulate them. Sometimes um they look for someone who they know doesn’t have a whole lot of support. Like a guy who would only date women who didn’t have a dad around. That’s actually pretty like scary when you look at it from afar you know because they knew that they could manipulate them better. They didn’t have a a parent to rely on that could stand up for them or like spot this guy coming.
So they pretend to be ill though is what I’m saying and this gets old fast. But it’s something really hard for people to dis-prove. So then they’ll blame you if you don’t take good care of them. Yu know if you start to like sort of roll your eyes every time they get a sniffle and um they think that you should like hop to it – make them homemade chicken soup and you know put the washcloth on their head and baby them. And you’re not doing that anymore because it’s like geez this person’s sick all the time and is this even real and are they really sick?
Like you start to have those kinds of thoughts like maybe they’re manipulating you to get love and attention basically. All right um number five we’re going to do six because I’m pretty sure I did irritability in the other video.
Number five- they will threaten suicide.
Okay this is the ultimate I think emotional manipulation and um if look if someone’s truly suicidal they’re they’re not talking about it a lot typically. They are very depressed, not always. Sometimes it comes out of the blue and you don’t know it but um someone who’s really suicidal often they’re not talking about it a whole lot. They make their plan and they often will do it or attempt.
If someone’s threatening suicide a lot like if you leave me I’m going to kill myself that’s an emotional manipulation. Now it may be a real threat. They may attempt if you actually do leave. But what we recommend as psychologists is you handle that situation very carefully. You say if you’re really suicidal then we need to hospitalize you and you do that if you need to.
You always want to try to keep someone safe but you don’t let that manipulation stop you from living your life, doing what you need to do ,or leaving the relationship if you need to.
This should probably be his own video but here we go Number six – Provocative Behavior either sexual or nonsexual.
I mean really that goes with threaten Suicide is pretty provocative behavior but that would be a non-sexual provocative behavior But often they’ll do sexual provocative behaviors too, trying to make someone jealous, just acting out sexually doing something that you’re like a whoo hold on here. Like in public where they want to do something that you’re really not comfortable with. So that’s another thing that they’ll do.
All right so we’ve got the five here five more emotional manipulations and then there’ll be probably one more video about emotional manipulators and the tools that they use. I hope that is helpful and if you want to heal some of your own core beliefs if you’re dating an emotional manipulator come see me and that’s over at my website Dr Liz hypnosis.com we’ll make a a telephone or Zoom consultation for you talk and then if you want to schedule we’ll go ahead and schedule knock that out okay so that you never date an emotional manipulator again or marry all right be well people peace [Music]
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