5 Signs your Parent is Toxic

1. They never apologize for anything, ever. You can remember getting an apology from them maybe once or twice in your life, if ever.
2. Everything is about them. The world revolves around them and you have to make all kinds of accommodations and changes to your schedule to meet theirs, even though they don’t work and have lots of free time.
3. They make unreasonable demands on your time, your life, and your emotions. They feel they should be put first before your children, your spouse, or anyone else, including taking care of yourself.
4. They create drama. You dread holidays, particularly Mother’s or Father’s Day, anticipating not just demands but drama around the demands. If you plan something, it will somehow not be good enough or will need to be changed, even if it’s something they requested for the occasion.
5. They put you down on a consistent basis and whatever you do is somehow not good enough. Criticism is a constant in your life when it comes to your toxic parent. It’s given without requesting feedback from them and it’s often given at times of stress when what you really need is support.

Do any of the above describe your parent?

Children of toxic parents experience all kinds of affects from it in their lives, often becoming unstable emotionally themselves. They can feel ignored, unloved, un-listened to, and unworthy of anyone’s attention. At its extreme, they become suicidal suffering with anxiety and depression for long periods of time. Sometimes they become rageful or struggle with anger that seems to overwhelm them.

Often, people with toxic parents end up with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which became a strategy to deal with the feelings caused by the toxic parent. BPD often feels like a living hell with mood instability and often feeling out of control and overwhelmed.

If you feel like you identify with any of this, there are resources for you to get some personal support and help even if you can’t afford to see a therapist who can help you learn strategies to feel more stable and so that your life feels more manageable. Do some internet research, join a Facebook support group, join an internet message board, or check out books from the library so that you begin to learn and practice strategies for stability.

If you want help dealing with your feelings around your Toxic Parent, Call me at 954-309-9071 to schedule a free consultation for psychotherapy.

Yours in health,
Dr. Liz