“Whatever I’m going through today is what I need to become who I’m becoming.” – Joan Sotkin
Learn how to change your money habits and relieve your money anxiety with Joan Sotkin! Throughout her life, Joan has been a millionaire and has also given away everything she owned. Her goal was to not worry about money no matter what her bank account said. She gives us strategies to relieve money anxiety and feel more secure in life.
Find Joan Sotkin at https://www.prosperityplace.com
Today’s sponsor is Hourglass Healing Arts, anew healing arts clinic in South Florida. They offer Acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, medical massage, cupping, and homeopathy. Check them out at http://www.hourglasshealingarts.com
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A problem shared is a problem halved.In person and Online hypnosis for healing and transformation. Schedule your free consultation at https://www.drlizhypnosis.com.
With over 100,000 downloads and listened to in over 100 countries, Hypnotize Me is the podcast about hypnosis, transformation, and healing. Certified hypnotherapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Dr. Elizabeth Bonet, discusses the research behind hypnosis, interviews the professionals doing it, and talks to individuals who have had hypnosis to see what happened afterwards. Free hypnoses are also given from time to time. If you’re interested in learning more about the magic of hypnosis, psychotherapy and mindfulness, this is the perfect place to feed your fascination!
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Dr. Liz [0:00]
Hi everyone, Dr. Elizabeth boning here and Dr. Liz. If this is your first time listening, then welcome. I hope you like what you hear. And if you do, please share it with a friend or family member. If you would like to get some free hypnosis files, then that’s really easy to do. I offer one to reduce fear and anxiety. Another one to increase emotional stability, and a third for a better pregnancy and birth. So you can get those over at my website, Dr. Liz hypnosis com that’s Dr. Li z hypnosis com. Or you can text the word that ties to 444999 that’s the word hypnotize 2444999 I think it’s like such an easy way to join the newsletter. That’s why I offer it before we go into today’s episode. I do need to say the podcast is not a substitute for mental health treatment, nor should it be if you need to psychotherapy or hypnotherapy. please seek treatment from a trained professional. Now I do do hypnosis, all over the world. That’s done through Skype or WhatsApp. Or sometimes someone has us phone number or a calling card type thing. Whatever it is, we work it out. But if you’d like to see how to work with me or learn more about me whether you’re local or from afar, you can do that over at my website as Dr. Liz gnosis. com I offer a free 15 minute telephone consultation. So that’s a great way to get a sense of what it would be like to work with me and to ask any questions you may have about that is sometimes people decide to fly in and see me and they’ll do a intensive couple of days. And then they’ll vacation here because I am in South Florida which is really nice. Most of the year. Fort Lauderdale there right above Miami. We have beautiful beaches and gorgeous water that’s warm to swim in. So people really enjoy that. All right. I hope you enjoyed today’s episode.
Hi everyone, Dr. Liz here. Today’s episode is with Joan Sotkin, and she’s just wonderful to talk to about money. I had her on the podcast in Episode 69. That’s quite a while ago, we’re on episode 137 now, and she is a highly sought after money coach. She runs the website prosperity place calm, which has all kinds of free as well as paid courses that you can take, as well as she runs online groups that you can join. She’s also the author of the search for connection, spiritual journey to physical, emotional and financial help. So our conversation is interesting, you’ll learn about why she thinks the law of attraction doesn’t work unless you have some of your other financial stuff in order. You’ll hear about her journey as well as strategies about how to relieve money anxiety. Now before we go into the interview, I have another resource for you. This episode is sponsored by our glass healing arts, which was just recently opened in Wilton Manors, Florida, which is South Florida area Fort Lauderdale area by Dr. Crystal Cacolici and Thomas Faillace, they open this center together. And it’s a healing arts clinic that offers acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, medical massage, homeopathy, so all kinds of healing services, they have community Healing Sessions, every second and fourth Wednesday of the month, where you can come in and get like a mini treatment, and just check them out and see how it feels to be worked on by them. You know, acupuncture, massage, hypnotherapy as well, when you’re talking about the healing art is really an energetic connection that’s going on there. And so I think it’s important to really trust and know the person that’s helping you. That’s helping move you towards healing. It’s our body’s natural state to move towards healing. But sometimes we need a little help along the way for sure I know I have. So that’s what really the healing arts are for. Let’s help your body heal. So both of them are fantastic practitioners. I’ve known crystal forever Even before she became a doctor actually in when she decided to go and study traditional Chinese medicine, all of us in the playgroup. That’s how I originally knew her word like, Oh my god, that is a perfect fit for you. Like it’s so good. She has an incredible amount of knowledge. And she truly is a healer, as is Thomas. So that’s a good partnership for them. Even if you’re not in South Florida, you can schedule a consultation with crystal, and know that you’ll be speaking with someone who is educated and ethical and in the right mindset to help you. So you can check them out at our glass, healing art. com. They also have an Instagram, our glass underscore healing underscore arts, as well as a Facebook page, of course, or you can give them a call 954-533-8044 954-533-8044. All right, let’s jump into our interview.
Hi, Joan, welcome back to the hypnotize me podcast.
Joan Sotkin [5:57]
It’s so great to be here. Thanks for having me back.
Dr. Liz [6:01]
Yes. Well, I absolutely loved their first conversation. And I’ve been meaning to for a while. So I’m finally caught up. And I was like, Yes, I could have jumped back on the podcast. All right. Yeah. So I want to jump in with some questions about how you see the struggles with money changing for people over their lifetime. So you know, people say like, you need to do your money work, quote, unquote, right? But what I see is that that changes through the years, like as you grow your business, as you become an adult, as you have kids often as they go through their life changes. So how do you see that in your your practice your coaching?
Joan Sotkin [6:51]
Well, it’s true, there’s a lot of things that I see now that evolve. In other words, you’re talking about the the evolution of a financial pattern within a person’s life. And as their as their circumstances change, I made a 20 year old is very different from a 70 year old. And the problem is, from my point of view, that there’s no, there’s no rules that absolutely apply to everybody. And that what you learn as a child about money, or as a teenager, or as a 20 year old, is going to affect your outcomes. And whether you have a job or you’re trying to build a business. I mean, all the advice that I see online, is all about saving X percent of your paycheck. Well as entrepreneurs, we don’t get paychecks. And the better advice just makes no sense to me. Because, you know, as a single person with one income, doing a business that has all sorts of ups and downs, because most of my work is done online and and business online has changed dramatically. Yes. So I have to keep changing how I do business, how I perceive business. And the meantime, I’m getting older, and makes a difference. I’ve been working more with 40 year olds in my coaching, and and I still have people in 50s and 60s. But I see that people in their 40s are still in this financial state of innocence, especially for entrepreneurs, because you haven’t got kicked in the but yet you’re doing your first business, everything seems to be working out fine. Well, nine times out of 10 life is gonna is gonna hit you in a way that you don’t expect. When you read biographies of very successful people, particularly entrepreneurs, there’s almost always a bankruptcy in the story. True. So, so when you’re 40, and bringing in six figures, seven figures, whatever it is, that’s just where you are today. I mean, how it’s going to be in the future, particularly since so many people who are in business for themselves. And I was, I was guilty of this when I was in my 40s they aren’t necessarily doing a great job of keeping track of their money. Uh huh.
Dr. Liz [9:48]
Yeah, it’s two different skills Really?
Joan Sotkin [9:51]
Absolutely. And when I had a business in the 1980s, so that was in my 40s. And I grew very quickly. I thought I knew what I was doing. I was keeping track of my money. But I had no idea about cash flow management. No one ever said to me, Joan, cash flow management. I had $50,000 a month in today’s money coming in. Oh, I just bought a lot of crystals, because that was the basic business. I had the best collection ever. But I had never learned in my younger years, how to save money. Hmm. And so for me, it was what can I buy, which is how a lot of people think, Oh, I want to make all this money. So I can buy XYZ. Traveling to and, and I’ll start saving later, I never saw the advantage of saving because my parents never saved any money. And somehow they managed to get to their 70s and 80s. My mother was almost 90. And somehow it all worked out. And I was very into the law of attraction kind of stuff, even though it wasn’t what was being taught at the time. But it was, you know, get your get everything your thoughts, beliefs, emotions in the right place, and the money will come in? Yes, well, that’s Bs, if you don’t think that’s still being taught. I know. But they don’t say that. Now it’s true. If you have the financial skills and the business skills to go with it, if you don’t know how to manage cash flow, I don’t care how much money you have coming in, if you don’t know how to manage it. And people say, Well, I don’t pay attention to my money. My bookkeeper does. I can’t tell you how many stories I heard of bookkeepers who screwed up the people they were working for.
Dr. Liz [12:00]
Yeah, I mean, really big. It can get really bad, like illegal type of stuff, but also just be on the on a day to day level that doesn’t then leave the person solvent at the end of the year. Yeah, what you
Joan Sotkin [12:15]
have to be able to do is make good financial decisions. And what’s involved in that is not only your understanding cash flow management, but how you make decisions. I mean, this is the stuff I get into, which is where who you are and your expectations for yourself, are definitely going to affect the decisions you make. Yes, decisions are affected by your thoughts, beliefs and emotions. Every, every every decision has an emotional component, it will have a need for disappointment. Well, when you’re 45, or 50, you’re going to be disappointed because that’s your habit.
Dr. Liz [13:01]
Hey, Dr. Liz here and just a quick reminder, if you are getting trapped in a feeling, anxiety, depression, or some kind of problem where it starts to overwhelm your life and affect every part of your life, your work your business, your relationships, your parenting, even what I specialize in is emotional healing, so that you feel transformed, so that you feel fundamental while being as you move through your life. And that you release old negative self concepts about yourself that are holding you back from truly living the life that you’re meant to live. a happy life. One filled of joy and peacefulness and centeredness and empowerment, so that you can move through life feeling like okay, I have this I’ve got it. This is manageable. I’m a good person, I have incredible self worth. All of his good benefits come from him gnosis so if that is something you need or want, you can schedule a free consultation over at my website, Dr. Liz hypnosis com. Okay, back to our episode.
Joan Sotkin [14:18]
And this is what really gets to me with business coaches and financial coaches. I mean, I can give you all the rules for taking care of your money. Uh huh. But if you’re eating crap, and not getting enough sleep and never exercise, and and your moods are gonna, you know, I mean, that’s going to affect your decisions. Yes. And it’s your ability to make decent decisions that are going to affect your business and financial health, and anything in life. well as how many people get into wrong relationships? Yes. They don’t just pop into your life, no decision to get into them, or to continue? Yes, yes, I was talking to someone the other day, and he had been married for 20 years, and said I should have gotten that are there 10 years early. And and he’s just gotten involved in another relationship, that didn’t work out. And I said, you need a purpose. You know, if having a good relationship is your only purpose. It’s not going to work because your habit is not having good. This is fourth relationship. Yes, three marriages, and he was going to get married again. Everybody has friends that don’t get married. Okay, very fortunately, he did. So, if you don’t have good critical thinking capacity, if you tend to be dogmatic, or only only want to deal with people who agree with you, these are all things that are going to have affect your decisions. So when you make a spending decision, all of that stuff is in there?
Dr. Liz [16:09]
Joan Sotkin [16:09]
Right. I came from a dead end family, my father was a compulsive debtor, and he eventually went bankrupt, then I went bankrupt, because, you know, you follow your parents patterns. And I had to really understand how I was making my financial decisions. And it took years to make the changes. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with you that needs fixing? That is my basic theory. I understand you’re a psychologist and people come up to you to fix things. Yes, I think there’s nothing wrong with you that needs fixing. You just have habits that developed early in childhood. And, and if you understand how to change those habits, then you can move in a new direction, which is basically what you’re doing.
Dr. Liz [16:59]
Yes, yet slightly different terminology. But I would agree with you, we come into the world, like perfect, whole and complete, right. That’s how we come in. And then because of circumstances that happen and our parenting and all kinds of different stuff. Sometimes it’s not parenting, that’s a teacher who was a jerk to you, or a friend or kids, all kinds of stuff can happen, then to develop habits
Joan Sotkin [17:27]
And your genes.
Dr. Liz [17:28]
Yeah, even genes. And we know enough about epigenetics now, though, that we can significantly change the expression of those genes changeable alter our life, it’s really pretty amazing. The science,
Joan Sotkin [17:42]
right, right now we’re at the beginning of the understanding, yeah, all of the things you and I are talking about. Yeah. And, you know, I still, if I go to an allopathic doctor, a regular doctor, you have no idea how to do treat me, because I’ve been on this, this alternative path for so long. And I have a different way of looking at life. And the people who say saved and presenting you and said, You know where they were, they give you these financial instructions. It has nothing to do with the person and what they expect of life and what they expect of themselves.
Dr. Liz [18:25]
Joan Sotkin [18:26]
Well, here’s something interesting. I work with a number of people who have plenty of money. Uh huh. And when they come to me, they say my problem is, it never feels like enough. Yeah, me, if you have a couple million dollars socked away, and it still feels like not enough. What’s going to have the person back the way now, my goal, what life teaches us in so many ways, you know, I live a kind of alternative life. I’m not married, although I tried it twice. And I knew fairly soon that that wasn’t for me. Now my idea of a good time, and I didn’t want children, and I’ve not never had children. So I get to do things that most people don’t get to do. When I gave away everything I owned, even though I had no money. And I wandered for a number of years. I mean, the lessons I’ve had to learn are different. So I’m not asking anyone to let you know, when people say, Well, I did it, you can do it, too. You can’t give away everything. You’re not gonna work. I couldn’t do it again. You know, we each have a path. Yes. And finding what’s right for me, has taken a long time. But one of the things I wanted to accomplish was to never worry about money no matter what my bank account said, huh. And I that’s what I asked for. And I go, many chances when it got down to practically nothing to really test it. But because I’ve learned such incredible money management skills and cash flow management. I see that it’s up to me to make it last when it you know, I mean, I have to make decisions every day. How much do I spend? How much do I save? How much do I put aside? It’s, it’s learning how to make those decisions. And for people who say, I don’t worry about money, but they’re what they often mean is I don’t pay attention to my money. And it’s like expecting to be healthy all your life when you’re eating junk. Yeah. You know,
Dr. Liz [20:48]
let me ask you, how did you practice not worrying about money, regardless of what was in your bank account?
Joan Sotkin [20:54]
Like what a good question. Okay. Okay, so I recognize that if I’m afraid of something in the future, I’m making up a story. Mm hmm. Because my amygdala, I started studying brain science A while back. And the thing in my brain that’s designed to keep me safe, hates uncertainty. Mm hmm. So if I don’t know, and as an entrepreneur, any of you who are out there as entrepreneurs, the main skill you have to learn is how to deal with uncertainty. Because your brain is going to tell you it’s dangerous. Yes. And you’re going to have a fear response. And when you’re in a fear response, you cannot make good decisions. That’s just brain science. Yes. So So I realized that if I was worried about was what was going to happen to me, because my money was going to run out, which was something I was imagining it wasn’t true in the moment. So there are two things I did first of all, the minute I would start wearing, I would say is everything. Okay, today, Do I have enough to eat? Do I have a place to stay? Now, there’s wandering around, I didn’t always have enough to eat. So I figured I was learning how to fast. In other words, right? There’s always another way of looking at it. So I realized, you know, is everything okay? Today, I have run out of money. So I couldn’t say have you ever run out of money. And I was, in fact, homeless. When I gave everything away. I was just not calling it homeless. I was calling it my spiritual journey. Yes. So I knew that that had happened. So I would say, well, what’s the chances of that happening? Again, I would look at it from a different point of view. And then I would say to myself, a large sum of money from an unexpected source. Because about making up a story. That’s a much better story to make up. Yeah. And my brain would light up because your subconscious doesn’t understand time. And my brain would line up light up, and I would start thinking about all the possible ways that money could coach could show up. And then I say to myself, but it’s unexpected. So whatever I’m thinking about is not true.
Dr. Liz [23:23]
Okay, great. I love that phrase. I actually use it all the time, not just for myself, but people, clients, brands, they tell them like, why not to say to yourself a large sum of money from an unexpected source. And they always look at me like, what? Let’s just try it. And yeah, feels a lot better. Right?
Joan Sotkin [23:45]
It really does – make up a better story. Because if you look at people’s lives, there are people who have this endless series of difficult people, their lives and things that happened to them. This woman stopped me the other day, who I hadn’t seen in a long time. And I, I had had my car broken into a dog park, and my wallet and my phone. This was after so many things in my as it aged out. And so I was just seeing it as I was going through it getting ready for something new. Well, she was on her way someplace and had all her possessions in her car that were stolen. And then I had to hear about the next story and the next story and the next story. Well, when is she going to say why am I creating this? Why? Why do I need this? That’s the other thing. Okay, I have certain sayings that keep me sane. Like, there’s no such thing as good or bad. They’re only is what it is. So if you, if something happens to you, and you see it is bad, well, then it’s bad. It’s like when my car was broken into, I had to get new bank accounts. And I mean, it took me months to work through everything. But when I got the new bank accounts, it’s like, oh, I’ve got all new numbers, you know, my life is changing. And as it worked out, because I’ve been going through this process for a couple of years. Suddenly, when I felt like I had finally reached that point where I wanted to reach, everything started opening up. And and I put together this group first, it was supposed to be an accountability group, and then that didn’t feel quite right. And I have this problem, I can’t plan things in advance, I have to try something, and then let it evolve. And I don’t fight that. I don’t fight that because I every time I’ve tried to plan everything in advance, it never works out. I’ve got to change.
So why not? You’ve made a decision about how to think about that, like, this is my process. And this is how I go about things. And there’s nothing wrong with this. This isn’t actually a problem. It’s just it’s my process. And you have to have a lot of courage to do that. Yes. Because you don’t you don’t know what’s next. So I have faith, my faith isn’t that God’s gonna save me or that some angels are going to come along and drop something in my lap? I have faith that if I follow my inner voice, everything’s going to work out okay. Hmm. Okay, doesn’t mean everything’s comfortable. Or that I’m going to absolutely get what I think I want. Mm hmm. I know, I’m going to get what’s going to allow me to become who I’m becoming. I’m beautiful. That’s why I don’t see anything is bad. Whatever I’m going through whatever I’m going through today, is what I need to become who I’m becoming. Hmm. Now I believe that we’re going into a period of great chaos. I know that as a teacher and helper. You know, we call it a coach. You know, my goal is to serve people. That in order for me to help people through the chaos, I have to be totally peaceful. Hmm. Because I can’t teach you how to be stress free. Unless I am Yes. And so that’s been in the back of my mind. Cuz when I was going through that give everything away. I was. It was an in the 1970s. I started meditating in 1972. And in 1976, about I was in meditation, and I heard we’re going into a period of great chaos. Many people will leave the planet, the chaos in the Middle East will get so bad people would say how would a benevolent God allow this to happen? But people are being trained to be points of light in the midst of the chaos? Hmm. So in order to be helped to them, I can’t be scared and worried. Yes, my first spiritual teacher in 1972, the guy who taught me how to meditate, said worrying is a waste of time. I thought to myself, what a concept. Worrying is a waste of time. And so it was in the 1970s that I decided to, to learn how to stop worrying. took a long time, I didn’t know about brain science. And I had to figure out how to do
Dr. Liz [28:40]
it. It is hard. I tried to practice that myself.
Joan Sotkin [28:44]
Right. And it takes time
Dr. Liz [28:45]
takes time it takes practice. It takes releasing, and you get pushback from people. I have my blue haired team that I have a 17 year old leaving for college in, like 15 days or something. Oh, used to be used to be the pink hair? Yes. And my husband said to me, he said, You know, you’re pretty happy. I think you’re, you’re going to have it hit you later. Right? Like, and I said to him, I said, Look, it’s going back to the decisions. I said, you know, it’s not that I don’t picture crying at the airport. I do. She’s She’s flying off to Italy. She’s not just going a couple hours away. I said I do. But I make decisions about how I feel and what state that I like to exist in. And for now, I think the better state is to be really excited for her. And it makes me feel better. And I think it helps her and to lend her that confidence instead of being in the fear, worry sadness state. Right. Well, you
Joan Sotkin [29:55]
You said something important. You said, I decide how I want to feel. Most people don’t realize they have that choice, correct?
Dr. Liz [30:05]
Joan Sotkin [30:05]
And, and it’s a matter of habits. Whether however you respond to a particular situation, is a habit. And if that response is fear, uncertainty, anger, whatever that is, that’s a habit. And you have the ability to say to yourself, what would I rather be feeling? Yes. And when I when I teach this to people, I say okay, this is how I have them learn how to change their money habits. Hmm. Look at your bank balance. And you say to yourself, oh my god, I haven’t got enough. I am so ashamed of where I am. Everybody makes more money than me. Sad has nothing to do with the money. Yeah, that’s do with why you’re feeling so. So when you’re when you’re all contract, because you’re looking at your money and you’re feeling really uncomfortable. You say to yourself, what am I feeling? Whenever I felt it before, and you’ll start remembering all those times, way back to childhood, when you felt tight and angry when you were two years old, and they weren’t letting you do what you wanted to do. And you felt trapped and uncomfortable. And and if you’re in debt, you’re feeling trapped? Well, where does that come from? It has nothing to do with the debt and has to do with what you’re bringing to the debt. Yeah, okay. What am I feeling? What am I felt that before? What would I rather be feeling? Yeah. And do I know how to feel that?
Dr. Liz [31:43]
Yes. And do I have I haven’t seen do I know how to feel that goes with? Do I have the skills to change it? Oh,
Joan Sotkin [31:51]
yes. But But first, the question is so many people, I find have a dissatisfaction habit. Uh huh. They’re never satisfied with where they are, where their money is, what their kids are doing. I mean, they’re just not satisfied. Say, do you know how to feel satisfied? And it’s amazing how many people say to me, No, I’ve never been satisfied. Yeah, okay. So I’ll say were you satisfied when your kids were born? have kids nine out of 10 times? They’ll say yes, I was satisfied. Occasionally. I get a no, yeah, I wanted a boy and I got a girl I wanted a girl and I got a boy
Dr. Liz [32:32]
with the birth or Yeah.
Joan Sotkin [32:34]
Are you satisfied? Because you have defined the moment in your life when you were satisfied? with it? What did it come from going to the ocean watching a bird, it was a beauty never felt satisfied, will never be satisfied. Because I don’t know how to feel that.
Dr. Liz [32:56]
So it becomes a process of practicing the feeling
Joan Sotkin [33:00]
satisfied, building new neural pathways in your brain. So that you teach your brain how to respond with satisfaction. Now people are afraid if I’m satisfied, I’ll never have more than I have now. paradise paradox is, the more satisfied you are, the more you’ll be able to draw in those things that keep you satisfied. Yeah, as long as you’re addicted to this satisfaction, you’re going to get lots of opportunities to feel that.
Dr. Liz [33:39]
Yeah. Oh, that is a real paradox.
Joan Sotkin [33:48]
And, and if you’ve always been dissatisfied, and you want to be satisfied you remit amygdala is going to tell you it’s dangerous because you don’t know what the outcome is going to be.
Dr. Liz [34:00]
Yes. And I think it’s helpful to to give that amydgdala something to do. So you know, you’re basically giving it something to do when you say a large sum of money from an unexpected source. Right. And recently, I heard because Wayne Dyer’s nine principles of something awful the titles, but he was saying, like when you’re thinking about money, and you have this feeling of not having enough or whatever, think about what is it you want that money to create in your life? Because really, that’s what it is,
Joan Sotkin [34:38]
right? Like something underneath money is just people come to me for coaching from financial advisors. And so recently, there was this woman who came to me she was driving her financial advisor, nuts. She had recently retired, she was only 59 years old. And she was so afraid of losing her of what she has the volatility the market causes a lot of fear. Right? So our first conversation where we were just finding out if it was a match. And I knew this story, within 10 minutes, I said to her, so what were your abandonment stories? Hmm. In other words, I could tell from the way she was obsessing about losing her money and not creating any other possibilities. Yes, that she was dealing with her feelings of abandonment. And she had a alcoholic father and a narcissistic mother. And she, so she had a right to have an abandonment habit. Right. Yes,
Dr. Liz [35:44]
yeah. But also an opportunity to work through that to change that.
Joan Sotkin [35:49]
Man, she’s been going to therapy. So I said to her, what would you like to be doing it with the next part of your life? Yeah, it took about an hour for her to get to really understand how many I started, you know, I it was clear, she’s very talented. And I just started listing opportunities that were sitting there waiting for her to grab them. Because of her fear. Remember, fear makes you stupid. Because of her fear, she had no idea how to get an idea about something new in the future. amygdala telling you it’s dangerous, right? And she was paralyzed. So she didn’t, she just needed encouragement to try something different. And within two months, her life totally turned around, going. But
Dr. Liz [36:40]
I bet when you start to focus on what you do want to create. That’s a creative process right there. Exactly. lives do change. So for her, it’s like, okay, she wouldn’t have money to create a sense of what security This is my hand. And she said to me, Well, I need more money. Now, that’s something I hear from a lot of people.
Joan Sotkin [37:02]
So I said to her, how much? Uh huh. Because people don’t ask themselves that question. They just say I need more money. Right. Well, how much do you need? And what plans can you make? To get that amount? Yes. Yeah. Once you decided what you wanted to try, and I assured her that whatever she tries probably is not it. But it’s going to help her become who she’s becoming. Yeah. Yeah. Because she can’t imagine at 59, who she’s gonna be at 69.
Dr. Liz [37:35]
Joan Sotkin [37:37]
Yeah, that’s the advantage of being in my late 70s. is I’ve seen what we were talking about in the beginning, this evolution? Yes. And it’s not just a financial evolution. It’s an emotional evolution. It’s a self concept evolution, people who are stuck, are stuck in their sense of who they are that developed when they were two. Yes, first grade, okay. So and they have no idea how to create a new identity, a new self concept. And they spent most of their life protecting their old identity, which is a waste of time. Absolutely.
Dr. Liz [38:21]
Yeah, we know that happiness goes along with someone’s ability to change and evolve and adapt their flexibility. And you’re talking about emotional flexibility.
Joan Sotkin [38:33]
Right? And you have to remember, your amygdala is not working for you to change. It’s almost like you have to become adapted. It’s like if I don’t change fairly often, I feel stuck. Because my habit has become change.
Dr. Liz [38:51]
Yeah. That’s the opposite end of the scale.
Joan Sotkin [38:55]
Right? And now, Joanie Sotkin hasn’t changed. In other words, the the person who my persona, my personality that so many elements of who I am, were the same when I was tiny little as they are now. And I was rebellious from the very beginning. And I’ve been a talker all my life. I say, when the doctor slapped me when I came out, I probably did five minutes. Because I’m a talker, right? And so there’s certain things that don’t change. what’s what’s important with what you said, is that we have choices. Hmm, I have this new saying I’ve been using whatever you believe is true is true. So if you don’t like what’s true, change what you believe is true. Yes, we have this infinite number of choices. As to what we believe is true, I can believe that a large sum of money from an unexpected source is good going to come my way. And so during the day, I’m in this healthy state of anticipation, wondering who’s going to contact me to let me know that I’m getting $100,000. Now. Now, I have used up my disappointment, enough to not be a disappointment when it doesn’t come by the end of the day. I just have more hope for the future. The way to live is to not spend time in the past, to be in the present and have hopes for the future. Is everything. Okay, today? Do I have enough to eat? Do I have a place to stay? Now, since every one of you who’s listening to this has a cell phone and a computer? And you’ve got enough? You’ve got enough to survive? Yeah. feeling of not enough, as you saying I’m not enough. I mean, I I have a client who just told me recently that her I asked what what she wants to work on. She said, Well, I’m only bringing in $250,000 a month a year. Wow. And she sees that as a big problem well, and she thought that she was feeling enough about herself. And after Enough talking, we got to the fact that there really was a part of herself that felt that she would never measure up. And I think that people are afraid to listen to their intuition, to that inner voice that tells them what they need, what they need, not what mommy thinks they need, or friend thinks they need. What do you need to become, you’re becoming. And if you listen to that voice, not everything is going to work out. Because sometimes you have to find out what you’re not. Before you find out what you are. Yeah, I had to find out that I was not meant to be married and have children. But I was taught you’re supposed to get married and have children. I was born in 1940. It’s not like women were taught, you know, go be independent have a business. It’s a different era. Right? Right. And so I tried what they told me I was supposed to do. And it made no sense to me.
Dr. Liz [42:24]
And so I think that is an important point. Because people get stuck in their head, or they develop a habit, that whatever the try has to be successful, or it has to look this way or be that way. And it’s like any entrepreneur who’s been around the block, at least a little will tell you, you have to try things and assume that some of them are going to fail that they’re not going to be a good fit. There’s no way to know that unless you try it. And that happens on all kinds of levels.
Joan Sotkin [42:56]
So you asked the question up front about the financial evolution that people have to go through? And there’s no way to do it other than through experience. Yes. And if you understand that what’s happening is not good or bad. It’s just what’s happening. And whatever you’re going through is helping you become who you’re becoming, then you don’t have to judge yourself, or what’s happening.
Dr. Liz [43:26]
So that’s a wonderful place. I think to wrap up our interview today. Can you tell people where to find you if they’d like to work with you?
Joan Sotkin [43:35]
I’m so easy to find. I’m the only Joan Sotkin in the entire world. Yes, no, no other Joan Sotkin. And my main site is prosperityplace.com. And that leads to everything.
Dr. Liz [43:50]
Wonderful. Joan has some really good free courses over there some excellent paid courses over there. I really encourage you to go give look. And also check out one of her groups. She does work very intuitively. And you have a group starting soon. I’m not quite sure when this is going to air but
Joan Sotkin [44:10]
it’s ongoing now. And people would just get they can join it anytime This is different from the other groups I’ve done where there was a six week or a 12 week thing. This is an ongoing called intention plus action. Yeah, we use the intuition and the inner stuff to create the intention. But then you have to plan how you’re going to get there.
Dr. Liz [44:33]
Yeah, so check out one of her groups and her podcast. So your your podcast is the prosperity,
Joan Sotkin [44:41]
the prosperity show
Dr. Liz [44:42]
the prosperity show. I listened to it all the time. But like I said, I have a hard time with titles.
Joan Sotkin [44:48]
I’ve done 358 episodes, which is amazing.
Dr. Liz [44:54]
It is amazing. Yes. If you’ve been podcasting for any length of time, you will know how many amazing that is. That is. So again, thank you so much.
Joan Sotkin [45:04]
And thank you. This has been wonderful.
Dr. Liz [45:42]
I hope you truly enjoyed today’s episode. Remember that you can get free hypnosis downloads over at my website, Dr. Liz hypnosis, com, DR. Li z hypnosis.com. I work all over the world doing hypnosis. So if you’re interested in working with me, please schedule a free consultation over at my website, and we’ll see what your goals are and if I can be of service to you and helping you reach them. Finally, if you liked today’s episode, please subscribe to the podcast or tell a friend that way more and more people learn about the power of hypnosis. Alright everyone, have a wonderful week. Peace.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai