Negative Anniversary Effects

Dr. Liz and her daughter Mia September 2025

We often think of anniversaries as happy occasions but more often than not, they’re marking sad things that happen to us in our lives

I was back in Asheville, NC last week visiting my daughter and realized it was almost one year to the day that I was there when Hurricane Helene hit. I had gone just for a regular visit and the hurricane hit the day after I arrived.

Some sadness came up for me, especially as I would drive by areas that still have not recovered and look like disaster zones.

And some anxiety as the news was giving warnings of a big storm on its way to NC. Eek!

I’ve been through multiple hurricanes while I lived in Florida including Hurricane Andrew in 1992 that hit the week after I have moved from Texas. I had no idea what was happening since I didn’t grow up in an area that dealt with hurricanes. But my roommate had and dragged me to her uncle’s house to ride it out.

Now that I’ve lived and worked in Florida for 30+ years, doing psychotherapy and hypnotherapy all over the state of Florida (and beyond), I know the effects that hurricanes can have on anxiety, depression and anniversary dates.

It’s not just hurricanes that I’m talking about though. It’s all kinds of negative or sad anniversary dates.

In the first years after an anniversary date, some people get full blown PTSD symptoms. For others it’s more like mini-PTSD. And as the years go on, we may find ourselves feeling down, sad, or disconnected around an anniversary date.

I had a friend who would get sad in the month that a marital affair was discovered even 15 years later. She said that often the fall was hard for her because of it.

It’s helpful from a spiritual standpoint to honor your own feelings and reactions. And to give yourself as much grace and compassion as you can muster.

Some people find it helpful to do a ritual to mark the day like lighting a candle, visiting a place of worship, or writing a special note.

One of my friends got high every year with his mom on the day that his brother passed away (who was a teenager at the time and smoked a lot of pot).

What I’m always surprised by are the creative ways that people find to mark anniversaries. If you would like to share yours with me, send me an email. I love hearing from my newsletter readers, blog readers and podcast listeners.

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Peace and Health,

Dr. Liz