Dr. Liz’s annual goal setting, dreaming, and intention setting episode for 2020! Dr. Elizabeth Bonet shares one of her main tools to accomplishing her goals and interviews Briana Borten, the co-creator (along with her husband, Peter Borten) of the “Rituals for Living Dreambook Planners,” a series of unique, expansive planners that don’t just include your goals and dreams but help you make room for living. We learn:
- How the Bortens came up with the planner
- Where the checklists and questions came from
- The various ways people use the planner
- Some amazing stories about what it helped people accomplish
- Why they decided to offer both an undated version and a dated version
Affiliate Link: See more about the Dreambook Planners or purchase one at https://dragontreeapothecary.com/?ref=c9r2pkp0qhw
Direct link to the Undated Planner (the one Dr. Liz uses): https://dragontreeapothecary.com/collections/rituals-for-living-dreambook/products/rituals-for-living-dreambook?ref=c9r2pkp0qhw
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Listened to in over 140 countries, Hypnotize Me is the podcast about hypnosis, transformation, and healing. Certified hypnotherapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Dr. Elizabeth Bonet, discusses the research behind hypnosis, interviews professionals doing transformational work, and talks to individuals who have had hypnosis. Free hypnoses are also given from time to time. If you’re interested in learning more about the magic of hypnosis, psychotherapy and mindfulness, this is the perfect place to feed your fascination!
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This is the first episode of 2020 and I’m happy to be here. I had a wonderful vacation and holiday season. The red-haired team was home from Italy and was just full of stories. If you want to hear her she was just in the last episode Episode 147 But she’s back now in Italy, and the new year has started. So every year I do an episode about goal setting. If you’ve listened to the podcast for a while, you know that I am huge on goal setting. I really love setting goals. I’ve done it since I’ve been very, very young. But the way I’ve done it has changed over the years for sure. So I’ve discovered different ways and by listening to people and by my own explorations, and sometimes it’s friends, sometimes it’s something that comes up to me out of my mind, right. But I really feel that it has helped me do everything that I’ve needed to do in my life, both professionally and personally. So you can go listen to those old episodes if you want. The first one was episode seven. The second was Episode 67. And then there was one last year Episode 103 that was more about intentions versus goals. That’s a really good episode and This year, I actually have an interview for you with BRIANA Borten.
She and her husband Peter are the creators of the dream book series, the dream book planner. I call it a series because there’s several different dream books that they publish. When his rituals for living that is undated Another one is dated, some of them are spiral bound, some of them are not. They have a separate book that people can do. I mean, it’s all kinds of things that they have. And before I move forward with this, I need to tell you that I did sign up as an affiliate with them because I love the planner so much. I really do. So if you look in the show description, the affiliate link is there, as well as on the website and I can tell you that I’ve used this planner for several years now. And it has been one of my favorite things to do. I use the unplanned version. What you’ll hear in the interview, and I like to write the dates on and that way, it’s like I don’t feel guilty or like I’m wasting something if I miss a week, but it makes a big difference in my life when I do miss a week, I feel less grounded. And that mainly, I use it pretty much every week to not just plan my week. But also to do a little bit of art. I consider it like an art journal as well, because there’s so many opportunities to draw and color. Little Mandela’s colors symbols that I’m using, it has helped me change habits because I have a habit tracking option that you can use every week. And I color those in different colors.
Now I also have my weekly to do list so sometimes things are in the planner, the bigger projects are in the planner and then my weekly to do list where it’s broken down, more is on the side. That’s something I’ve done for a reason. Long time, so I use that separately, but many people use it like integrated, they use it in the planner to do that. And that probably depends on what version you get as well. Now, I’m going to say that in terms of how planners go, it’s on the higher side of cost, but they give you an option to purchase the PDF for much less. So personally, I appreciate that the are sensitive to people’s budgets, and they know like not everybody can afford this one, but they can always do this one if they want, they can print it out. And that’s a less expensive option. So something to keep in mind.
But I feel like it’s worth every penny really helps guide and orient, not just my week, but the year as well. It has like quarterly checking questions that I find helpful as well as well as a Facebook group that you can join in the Facebook group has fantastic ideas. I’m always amazed about how many different ways that People find to use the planner and to personalize it. One of the biggest tips that I could give you is to write down your dreams and your intentions and your goals. I say this every year, and this is a perfect place to write it down. It’s really a beautiful book. It feels good in your hands. And it’s it’s beautifully designed, and it’s a perfect place to do that. And a wonderful aspect of this planner is that they have a dated version and an undated version. So you can actually buy this anytime of the year and jump in. I really love that, that I don’t feel like I have to like, buy one at the beginning of the year, every year or else I’ve missed it or I’m starting late. It doesn’t have any of that feeling if you buy an undated when you can start it whenever Brianna says in the interview, that it’s sort of odd that you know our year in the Western world starts when it does. There’s the Chinese New Year. There’s birthdays Are renewal cycles. There’s all kinds of markers in our year where we can set goals for the next one or we can develop dreams or create intentions. So I think it’s a lovely aspect of this planners that you can choose to do that at any time. You can choose to start it at any time. All right, I think I’ve talked enough here. So let’s jump into the interview. Have a Happy, Happy New Year in 2020. Everybody. Peace.
Hi, Briana. Welcome to the hypnotizing podcast.
Briana Borten Dreambook [6:38]
Oh, thank you so much for having me.
Dr. Liz [6:40]
Yeah. And so happy you’re here. I did tell the audience before we started that I have used the dream book for going on my fourth year now. So I really love it. I think it’s an absolutely wonderful product.
Briana Borten Dreambook [6:54]
Oh, wonderful. I love hearing that.
Dr. Liz [6:58]
So I want to jump in with how many Did you think of it? Like, what was the inspiration for it?
Briana Borten Dreambook [7:03]
It really started because my husband, Peter, and I were, you know, I have a skill set around breaking down goals and really planning out my schedule. And it’s kind of been something that came pretty naturally to me. But then I also, you know, I think sometimes it’s something comes naturally to you also want to get just better and better at it. So I had gotten increasingly good at this from learning all sorts of systems and doing all sorts of different things until I was really quite a good planner. And so my husband Peter was, he had all these dreams and goals like I did, and yet was having a hard time like making sure he did the things to get to those. And so we started to do this thing that we called Peter boot camp every Monday morning and we still do it to this day. And during that time, I would just help him like prioritize what was important and get it into his calendar, and That’s really how it started. But as we were doing that, he started saying to me, like, okay, but where are you fitting in, like moving your body and being with friends and exercising, and all these things that also help you feel sane and happy and spacious and peaceful. And so in the end, it ended up being quite a service to both of us. So it became a benefit for both of us to be doing this to be helping each other in this way. And so we would always be going to little cafes or little restaurants to do this work together. And we would often run into friends, and they would say, Well, what are you doing? And we’d say, Peter Bootcamp, and of course, they’d be like, what does that even mean? You’re not like doing push ups here. And so we would explain what we’re doing and people kept saying, Oh, can we join you? Or can I join you? Can we join you? And I say, Well, no. You can join us because this it takes all my effort to Just help Peter this. So, um, but I did start to think, oh, people really need this, they really need a way of organizing their lives to be able to get what they want out of their lives. And as healthcare practitioners, we really realize, too, that so many of our clients were, you know, one of the areas of health that they struggled with was being able to live a life they really wanted to meet their goals. Mm hmm. why we decided to create the
Dr. Liz [9:29]
Oh, it’s wonderful. It is the only planner I found that well, I stopped looking in the last couple of years. I also I have to admit that right, because
Briana Borten Dreambook [9:39]
it’s like, I don’t need another one. But most of them don’t include lifestyle things. It’s what you’re talking about. What kind of life do you want to live? Like? How do you want to transform? It’s not just business goals, right, which a lot of planners focus on? Yeah. It’s more like how are you creating space in your life that Well, not just quote unquote, getting done. Right. Yeah. And we really do find that, you know, people you know, we know all sorts of people and there are people that are really good at like reaching their business goals or they could set like a number goal for their life, whether that is a number goal around like losing weight or number goal around, you know, making money or whatever it is, but they don’t necessarily know how to keep themselves in check. So their wealth and other feel happy while reaching that goal when they reach that goal. And so, people reevaluate the goal. They’re setting also how they’re going about, you know, it’s cool.
Dr. Liz [10:44]
Yes, absolutely. So what were some of the planners you used before you design this? Because I have the same experience like I been a fantastic planner all my life. And I think the very first one I ever use the Stephen Covey’s
Briana Borten Dreambook [10:59]
so Yeah, I mean, I feel like I’ve tried a lot of different planners. I think my very first planner was some, you know, knockoff of Stephen Covey or something like that. And I actually found that planner not that long ago at my dad’s house when I was home visiting. And just to see, like, the way that I organized it, then is actually not so different, like very goal oriented, really broke things down. It’s just like, was like something that is like a little ingrained in me, I think. And so it’s interesting to see that and then actually, for a long time, I used a planner that my husband made, which was really, really simple. It was actually just mostly big pieces of paper, and he would always go get them like printed and bound that just had the days on them. But we had a lot of space. They actually look a lot like the weekly planner we use now just like the top of the day and then a lot of space. He was using that when I met him and I really liked it. So then he started to make them for both of us. So I use that A lot. And then I started to use that in combination with a journal that had like my goals to break them down. And that’s really where I was like, well, this doesn’t I mean, it works. But it’s not the best solution. It’s nice to have your dreams and goals in with the same place where you’re planning. And so I was so grateful when we started to create the dream book that I actually had the thing I really wanted as well.
Dr. Liz [12:24]
Yeah, absolutely. I’m imagining it’s gone through a lot of refinement. How long have you been producing it? Like for sale?
Briana Borten Dreambook [12:32]
So we’ve been producing it for sale for I think, five years.
Dr. Liz [12:36]
So five years? I didn’t realize it’s that new.
Briana Borten Dreambook [12:39]
Yeah. So we started creating it. Yeah, about that. So we did a Kickstarter to start and it’s super fun. also super stressful. Yeah. Kickstarter is a whole thing. So um, yeah, it was just five years ago.
Dr. Liz [12:56]
Oh, and have you been surprised about how People use it, like the different ways because I’m just going to give a little background here. I am in the Facebook group, which I find really helpful. Like, I’m not a, I would say a heavy participant in there. But I do like to check it from time to time. And I’m so surprised that like all these different ideas that that people have and ways to use it. So was that a surprise to you as well.
Briana Borten Dreambook [13:25]
It was a surprise to me, and also really a delight as well, because we were really clear and that we wanted the book to always feel like that person’s as soon as they bought it, you know, as soon as it’s in your hands. It’s not my thing that you’re doing. It’s your thing that you’re doing. And so it actually is so delightful to me to see the different ways people use it. One of the things I’m most surprised about though is the amount of stickers people use. I was like, I didn’t know this thing that people did. I just say it was surprised. I was like, I I’m not a sticker person. I mean Yeah, very surprised. And I was like, Oh, that’s a whole thing.
Dr. Liz [14:04]
Yeah, someone posted one of their pages the other day, because from time to time people post pages to show somebody else like, this is what I do with it. And it was covered with stickers.You know?
Yeah, I definitely am. I do stickers on the front, like motivational ones. I love it. That’s
Briana Borten Dreambook [14:23]
Dr. Liz [14:24]
yeah. But I don’t generally do stickers, like inside, you know, like on my weekly pages, but I know a lot of people do. Yeah, yeah. I did have a question about the list. The planners have this list where you can just check these boxes for the week. And things on there are like, meditate. Write a friend or colleague friend, yoga journal, create some art. I think I went so it’s a long list. I’m not going to read them all out. But how did you come up with the list?
Briana Borten Dreambook [15:00]
We’re really things that Peter and I were realizing are such essential things for kind of like a real well rounded experience of life that you have time to move your body and that you have timing to connect to each other to yourself to the earth. And so we really just started to think about the really specific practices, and like as a broad way as we could so they’re inclusive, right one of them is like, give and receive touch, that could be like risk getting a massage. It could mean like rubbing your partner’s feet. It could be holding hands with a friend. You know, it’s it could be a lot of different things, but they are the things in life that are so important for our happiness that we can tend to forget to do when we get overly busy. There are things we thought, okay, people inject these things into their life, at least you know, two or three throughout the week. They’re going to have a more of a sense of groundedness and peacefulness and spaciousness in their life.
Dr. Liz [16:05]
Hmm. All right. So it’s like essential things for growth and peace.
Briana Borten Dreambook [16:10]
Yeah. And they’re really things that I feel like make it so that your life isn’t just about getting getting getting getting getting goals, getting things getting, you know, it’s about how do we change that to be like, let’s be in a, like, thriving mode in our life where we’re really actually engaged with what’s currently happening. And these things really help us do that.
Dr. Liz [16:33]
Yes, got it. Okay. When I’m thinking about the list right now, it is an exchange, many of them are in exchange. It’s giving to is not just receiving, you know, calling a friend or how or serving your community is on there. And I think they’re wonderful for just like little I use them as little reminders, right? Yeah. Yes, absolutely. Doing that this week, serving my community and doing this You know, yes, I think I have time for this week. So I’m going to create some art. So you know, little text like that. So I really like them. But yeah, I wanted to know the origin of those. So the other question I have is about the forgiveness part. So how did this come about? Because I think that’s really unusual to find in any kind of planner, like, you can read books and books about forgiveness, specifically, to work it into your week to work it into your life, and on a daily basis. Really. I love this sentence. I think it is. Who are you going to going to forgive this week? second sentence? Yeah. And I see people change it to I do want to tell the listeners some people in the group they change it to, I can’t remember off the top of my head, but I know for weeks for me, I changed it to who I have compassion for. Like, I don’t really Need to forgive anyone this week? Like I feel good. You know, there’s really it’s clean, right? But there’s always room for compassion. In my life, I feel like so how did that come about that one?
Briana Borten Dreambook [18:15]
Yes. So that was actually something that we changed last year that we added. And it really came about because when we’ve been working with people and just seeing, like, Where is like there are a lot of contraction in our life, where do people get stuck? Where do people pull back? Where do people stop themselves? And I would say that one of the most rubyist places that I see in that for almost everyone is non forgiveness. And it’s often non forgiveness of ourselves. I’d say more often than not, that’s the case, but it can be non forgiveness of others as well. And it’s Something that keeps us so stuck. When we are holding grievances against others, it’s almost impossible to become fully expanded in our lives. When we are holding grievances against others, we’ve basically put ourselves in a prison with them, or with ourselves when we decide that that’s how we’re going to spend our lives. And so just knowing that, you know, I’ve done a ton of forgiveness work in my life, and still pretty much every week, if I really think about it, I can find a place that has like a slight holding of agreements, and just bringing my awareness there to open that up, allows me to be so much more free in my life to live it fully. And, you know, that’s really why we put it in there we actually considered like, Whoa, should we just do this quarterly, or, you know, like once a year, once a month. When we really came down to it, we thought, you know, if, if Peter and I both feel like every week we have somebody that we could forgive, even if that person is almost always ourselves, then we feel like it’s a really useful thing for probably most people. And you know, I say that I find that people that really do it and end up understanding it. And then of course, there are people that want to change it. I’m like, well, it’s your pump, you change it to whatever you want. I know my though, and I but I do think that there is a useful place to come into the just like to look at like, Where are their contractions? Where are their grievances that are still being heavy and are in your life?
Dr. Liz [20:45]
Yes, absolutely. That’s a really lovely origin of it. I find hearing you talk about it, because definitely in my work as a hypnosis specialist as a psychotherapy specialist, it is actually Absolutely something that affects people’s emotional and physical health, when they are holding on to it and some of the work of therapy, not all of it, but some of it is around. How do you let go of that? anger? How do you let go of these feelings? How do you let go of resentment so that you heal and you feel better in your life?
Briana Borten Dreambook [21:24]
Yeah. makes a huge difference. I see.
Dr. Liz [21:27]
Yeah. And I would imagine you see that show up. Do you still do massage currently? I know you have a history. I do.
Briana Borten Dreambook [21:36]
Don’t do massage anymore. I went on a sabbatical. I don’t know what to call it. Oh, anyway, when I had my first daughter, who’s now 12. I’m going on maternity leave. And people were like, Are you ever coming back like I’m never coming back.
Dr. Liz [21:56]
But imagine when you were doing massage in in Peters Practice of a traditional Chinese medicine doctor. You probably saw it in people’s bodies when they’re holding, you know, holding feelings holding anger, holding resentment, all of those.
Briana Borten Dreambook [22:13]
Oh, yeah, I mean, and I do now, energy work with people and it’s one of the things I still see come up with people, you know, that feeling of holding on and it can really affect our fields it can affect our bodies, affects our minds greatly. I mean, I really see it as like one of like, the like, kind of, you know, rocks that need to be addressed in our lives.
Dr. Liz [22:38]
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Thanks for sharing that. Could you tell the listeners some of the amazing stories that you’ve heard from people using the planner in their lives?
Briana Borten Dreambook [22:50]
Yeah, this is the thing that Peter and I are always like, the most amazed by is all of the crazy stories that we hear people are like This is why this is happening for me people starting businesses and creating successful businesses actually very quickly, which is always really impressive to me. Because usually it takes such a long time. But just seeing people really using it using the system and creating amazing businesses, I’ve seen people who have really started to work on healing their relationships, which is not something I almost expected at all from this, but it’s always always how it goes like Peter and I create all sorts of work. And one of the main things that we see when people start to do their work is that relationships start to heal. And I was so impressed and so happy by that. So seeing that happening, and people retiring early, which I was also really amazed by people getting completely out of debt and like nine months where they thought that that would just never happen. We had people who have like finished their PhD like God Back to School finished their PhD that they had like quit doing came back finish a PhD in our in that my work now doing that. So I mean so many things and I just like love going into the Facebook group and hearing people’s stories and people write to us a lot to to just say like, this has really changed my life. I feel happier, more productive. A lot of people have really addressed their health issues using the book to I think maybe because of Peter my background. Yeah, that’s
Dr. Liz [24:28]
definitely been the case for me. I had some health condition, a couple of health conditions is here that I had to figure out. And it definitely helped me do that. Like saying, Okay, this is the doctor appointment you’re going to make this week. This is the research you’re going to do. You know, this is the person you’re going to talk to absolutely,
Briana Borten Dreambook [24:49]
yeah, really? Yeah. It’s amazing. I love hearing that. And I just think it’s like about this feeling of feeling like I get to choose my life, actually. And I’m going into be really engaged. And that’s the thing that I see more than anything that people that really use it is that they get really engaged in their lives. And so yeah, I all sorts of amazing stories. It’s my favorite thing. I just love to hear what people do so far.
Dr. Liz [25:17]
Yeah, and I know there’s people in the Facebook group that have shared that they gotten a cancer diagnosis. And then they come in and they say, you know, I don’t know how to plan past this year, actually, or five years, forget it, you know, like that. You’ll hear those type of things. And I’m always amazed at the support that they get from people in terms of generating ideas and brainstorming and saying, okay, you know, I used to this to get through my cancer treatments last year, and this is what helped me, you know, like, yes, focused on just this week, that’s okay. So I really love the freedom aspect of it as well and the support
Briana Borten Dreambook [26:00]
Yeah, yeah, I always say to people, it is the sweetest community you’ll ever meet, like people are so nice to each other. So uplifting and so kind. It’s really so impressive to me.
Dr. Liz [26:13]
They are they really are. So we are getting near the end of our time. Can you please tell people how to find the planner and how to order one?
Briana Borten Dreambook [26:23]
Yeah, you can go to dream book dot vision, and you’ll be able to see everything there. And you’ll be able to see the 2020 book there. And we also have our updated books there and our program so everything is there.
Dr. Liz [26:38]
And I did want to let people know that there’s an updated one, so that you can buy this planner, like anytime of the year, which I love. I, I use the integrated one and I dated every single week. But I love that. Yeah, yeah, people can jump in anytime.
Briana Borten Dreambook [26:58]
Yeah, I love it too. I used the undated one for like, the first two years and now I use the dated one, but it’s Yeah, it’s so it’s so great to be able to start whenever you want.
Dr. Liz [27:11]
Yes. Was that a decision that like evolved out of people asking for that? or How did it come about?
Briana Borten Dreambook [27:17]
We actually always had the undated one and a big part of it was just because, you know, I asked, I think that like the time that we decided to start our years just so weird and like, random, I’m like, Why? It’s like not even at the beginning of a season. I’m like, Come on, get it together world. So I because I feel that way. I was like, well, we should definitely have inundated when you know, like, I think, like the Jewish New Year, Russia, China. That’s like a much more normal time to start a new year to me. Yeah. Even Chinese New Year, which is a little bit later. I don’t know there’s a lot of good times, even your birthday. So I just because I feel like it’s such a weird time. I thought other people probably think it’s my We have time to start planning to and I just think
Dr. Liz [28:04]
that’s fantastic. I absolutely agree with you. So thank you so much for being on the podcast and talking about the planet today.
Briana Borten Dreambook [28:11]
Thank you so much for having me. It’s been so fun.
Dr. Liz [28:22]
I hope you truly enjoyed today’s episode. Remember that you can get free hypnosis downloads over at my website. I work all over the world doing hypnosis. So if you’re interested in working with me, please schedule a free consultation over at my website, and we’ll see what your goals are and if I can be of service to you and helping you reach them. Finally, if you like today’s episode, please subscribe to the podcast or tell a friend that way more and more people learn about the power of hypnosis.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai